As usual, I have had conversations with others this week and there have been a theme in the conversations. The theme this week is" How are we teaching people?" I am a firm believer in that we treat people how to treat us. Some people will say "that is not true" because he or she is just mean and treats everyone like that. I can agree that there are some mean people out there and can just belittle another person, but it is in most cases that we have allowed a person to act a certain way towards us over and over again and they begin to believe that it is acceptable behavior.
In our relationships, the ability to set boundaries with others can be tainted by our own selfishness, religious views, power and control, learned behaviors, etc. As we have encounters with others, we have to look at our beliefs and values and see if they match up with who we are or who we want to be. The ability to reteach a person on how to treat you will take intention and practice. The response to the other person is up to you. You are able to say No to situations that you do not want to participate or say No to behaviors that go against who you are.
I was thinking about how many times I have done something because of my belief that a good Christian wouldn't say No. But in the end I have participated begrudgely or by complaining, which would have been better if I had just said No. Other times, we take a position of being the Sacrificial Lamb and victim in the situation. There has only been One!
So the next time that you begin to feel like the victim in a situation or relationship ask yourself if you taught the person to treat you in this manner. You have been empowered to live your best life.
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