Rerouting.....Making 2014 Your Best Year Yet

Since December 1, my status on FB has been counting down 2013 to usher in 2014 by clarifying your vision and to accomplish goals that were established in 2013. I want others to be empowered to experience their best years yet.  Have you ever made a decision from pure emotion?  I made a decision in June to take on a 10 month assignment.  I truly enjoy the work but my internal GPS system has been telling me that I am off course. So it is time to re-route and get back on course. 

Why did I make a decision to take the full-time assignment because I was moving in the emotion of fear?  I felt that I needed to have a certain amount of money and benefits and this assignment provided me what I believed that I needed.  Well, on one of my long commuting mornings God reminded me that what I thought was the answer to the situation was not making it work.  So instead of walking in fear, I am going to reroute and walk in faith.

I have talked with several individuals that have decided to re-route and began to pursue their calling and vision.  One person has to decide to begin a women's empowerment group, another has embraced the call to be a life coach, another is starting a day care center, and another is launching their vision to start a private school.  It is so great to walk with these individuals and listen to the joy in their voices as they share what they are doing.

My decision has been to re-route and resign from the assignment and launch L.Dangerfield Coaching and Consulting.  I have come to the realization that I am not a clinician per se but I am a Coach| Consultant|Counselor Educator|Counselor Educator.  So how do I make that happen?

What are you going to do to make 2014 your best year yet?

Too Successful to be considered a Failure

Too successful to be called a failure – Clipperdome Chronicles

The theme for the week for me has been about failure. In a recent conversation with someone the following statement was posed to me- too successful to be called a failure. I found this to be an interesting observation and asked if it could be used for a blog.  The statement came out of a discussion regarding male and female relationships.  Are you too successful in most areas of your life, but consider yourself a failure because you do not have that “special” someone in your life?

In two different audios that I listen to on my commute to work this week, the theme of failure and success came to the forefront again.  I am an avid listener of the monthly CD that comes with Success Magazine and had misplaced my October edition before listening to it. Well, the CD showed up this week and I listened to it and it was about the success of failure.  One of the featured speakers was Todd Duncan and he mentioned this statement, “If you don’t have failure then you there is no need for success”.  I am also listening to Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook.  She discussed the never ending chase of having it all. Ms. Sandberg brought to light the realism that we will never have it all because that is how life is.  Life is about sacrifice and reciprocity.

How do you cope with the idea of being “too successful” but still not having it all?  When I say having it all…I mean by the world’s expectation of education, accomplished work, committed relationship (marriage) and the 2.5 children with the dog.  Do you find yourself overeducating, overeating, overspending, overachieving, overrelationshipping(ok, I know that is not a word), but being in a relationship just for the sake of being with someone?  I want to remind you that self-actualization is an inside job and we will always be seeking after it.

When purpose and identity collide

 As a counseling professional, I am charged with identifying a theoretical orientation or framework.  A theoretical framework helps to guide my practice as a counselor when working with a client.  The reason I am sharing this with you is because I had another "a ha" moment about the importance of knowing your purpose and how purpose and identity intersect. 

Purpose is why you exist and identity is who you are.  When purpose and identity are aligned, you are living authentically.  So the question may be is why do I exist, you must look for themes that define who you are and what you do. My theoretical framework as a counselor is rooted in the humanistic school of thought. Halbur and Halbur (2011) says "the core belief of the humanistic school is that humans have a basic inclination to become fully functioning" (p.11). I realized how there is congruency in what I do and who I am are connected.

 Self-actualization is described as the "process of moving toward one's greatest potential" (Halbur & Halbur, 2011, p. 60). Self-actualization is a continuous process and it takes awareness and a willingness to develop and grow. Self-awareness is key to understanding who you are.  The connection of awareness and actualization moves you into purpose.

Begin your journey of self-awareness and self-actualization.

Congruence....Living in Agreement and Harmony.

Congruence....to be in agreement or harmony.  The word congruence has been resonating in my spirit over the course of this week.  This has led me to believe that I am out of agreement and harmony with who I have been called to be.  The desire to live my life  authentically and with congruency is at the top of my bucket list.

I can tell when I am out of agreement because I am more irritated, agitated and just not feeling life. It also taps into my energy level, regardless of how much rest I get, I am still tired. How many times have you felt like something is just not right and not knowing where to tap into it?  I know the first step for me  is to get back to a morning ritual of prayer and meditation.  I have been getting up early but I am forever running to get out the door.  Also, tapping into what is it that makes my heart sing.  I must ensure that I feed my heart with something that makes it sing through a daily activity.  Another thing for me is to make better decisions about what is going into my body and getting in some exercise especially during daylight hours.

Let's make a choice to live more congruently and authentically so that the world will be blessed by the uniqueness and goodness that you have to offer.

God's Strategic Plan

What a difference a phone call makes!  Last Tuesday, my mom received the phone call that has changed her life.  My mom has been on the kidney transplant list for almost five years.  She received the call to report to the hospital because there was a kidney for her.  You can only imagine how we felt because this is not the first time that she had gotten the call.  She has received the call before, once we went to the hospital and she was the second recipient.  Another time, we were not at home and the doctor stated it would not have been a match anyway.  In June, she got a call but she had been in the hospital the week prior and could not be tested. I have to say that my mom did not give up hope all those times nor did she become frustrated. 

God strategically planned this right time for her to get the right kidney for her.  The first time, I was not available to stay at  home with her.This last time, I am on Fall Break.  God knew that someone had to be at home with her while she is bouncing back. 

The lesson in this is that when God has a plan, it will work out in His time and the way that He wants it come to pass.  Also, we have to remain faithful to the promise.

We are so thankful to the family or person that made the decision to be an organ donor because they can continue to live on through my mom.

Why? Why?

I have been struggling with blog for the past few weeks.  I thought initially it was suppose to be getting to your Why! Why am I here? but it seems that it is deeper.  Lately, I have been asking the question Why? Why do some people die at such a young age? Why am I still single? Why would a person go in and kill innocent people?  Why did I make this decision over another?

I realize that life is about asking the question that begin with Why? so that we can figure out the How of life?  Sometimes God will reveal the answer to me about Why certain things are happening in my life or in the world.  Other times, He keeps me pondering the question so that I can stay closer to Him.

So one of my questions is Why am I here?  What is my purpose?  I gain glimpses of what my purpose on occasion and then I begin to question the How will this get done.  It is not for me to figure it all out at one time so I realize it continues to be about my faith walk and me being obedient to the call. 

I attended a training a couple of weeks ago.  The facilitator shared an exercise with us to help us to live in integrity with our authentic self.  The training was actually about a parenting program.  We were asked to take a sheet of paper and fold it in half. On one side of the paper, we listed people that we admired (alive, dead, and superhuman).  On the other side, we listed attributes and traits that we admired in each person.  Next, we circled common words that were found on the list.  After listing the common traits, the facilitator asked use to list them on a card because these qualities are who we are authentically next to I am........

The next part of the assignment was to list  what we would do if money and time was not a problem.  Then we had to look for themes and list these.  The next list was my intention to be....... The final question was ask...what is keep us from doing these things.

Begin to answer your WHY!

Living in Your Why

Yesterday while serving at a ministry fair, I had the opportunity to serve with a lady that blessed me with her story.  She shared with me how she lived in fear for so long in her life that she felt that she had missed her purpose in life.  As we continued to talked she share with me that she had worked for a major retail store for over 20 years at the customer service desk.  I was in awe about her commitment to serving the public in such a capacity.  She stated that she tries to encourage individuals that she comes in contact with and she may just pray with them. I can only imagine the impact that she is having on others even when they are coming in to complain about something or return something. 

This lady continued to share with me how she sets out to be a blessing to people at least twice a month.  She gets nominations from people about who they would like to receive a blessing and she will take a day to bless the individual.  She shared with me that recently she went to a nursing home to bless an 83 year old lady.  She took her flowers, candy, a prayer book, and just spent some quality time with the lady.  The lady was so blessed that she shared her blessing with others by sharing her gifts with others. 

At the end of our conversation, she said I am still trying to find out what I want to be when I grow up.  I was taken back for a moment because I could see that she was walking in her why by being a blessing to others. 

Sometimes our Why is not some big grand thing such as being a famous artist or millionaire but we can impact the people around us by living in our Why.

Life Lesson: When is Good Enough Really Enough

Have you ever had one of those life lessons that hit you right between the eye?  Well, on my morning commute on Thursday, I was listening to Peace on Broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant.  The life lesson that hit me was "when you do not believe that who you are and what you do is good enough, that message will contaminate everything you do." This statement really made me to think about the many times that I have compared myself to someone else or believed that I was not good enough.

How many times have you compared yourself to someone else or told yourself that you were not small enough, tall enough, smart enough, cute enough, good enough to be in that ultimate relationship? Okay maybe you have not said it to yourself but your actions have proven that you do not give yourself enough credit for being enough.  As a part of living an authentic life, it is important that we accept ourselves and understand that good enough is enough. 

I began to think about how many times I have not done something because I did not believe that I was good enough.  Or the many times that I have devalued my services because of my belief that I am not good enough or worth it.  I realized at that moment it is not how others perceive me it is how I perceive myself. 

I also continued to think about the many clients that I have worked with that struggle with the same pathology.  What do I tell my clients?  Also these clients seek out my service because of my journey.  I realize that I am good enough and the belief begins with me.

Our work:  Make a list of the things that you wish to change about yourself and your current life.  The write I am good enough......

Staying the Course

Here lately I have been spending a lot of time in my car.  I have been commuting back and forth to Clarksville.  The drive gives me time to really do some thinking and also to listen to my music and/or audio tapes.  This time with self is teaching me lessons that I am learning about life and about who I am as a person and profession.

One lesson that I learned this week is that I must stay the course or find alternate routes home.  On Tuesday, there was a sink hole at Exit 8 which means that traffic was backed up to Exit 4.  This is really something because I get on the interstate at Exit 1 and I was rolling along until traffic came to a halt.  I realized then that I did not know an alternate route outside of staying on the interstate.  It may me think about the many times that I have started out on a journey and I got detoured because of an accident or traffic jam.  I could have gotten off the interstate and tried to navigate myself through Clarksville until I found my way or I could have stayed the course realizing that the interstate would open up soon and I could get back to the flow of things. 

How many times have you gotten off the interstate of life trying to find a different route instead of staying the course?  When we have set the course to reach a specific goal in life, we have to stay the course and not get side track by traffic delays.

Faith Dare: Day 17

I started the Faith Dare on August 1st and I really did not know what the dare was about. I knew that I would be reading devotionals everyday and journaling.  One of the major challenges is to fast from "self". My first thought was  how do you fast from "self".  I have fasted from television, food, social media, etc.  So how do you fast from "self"- it is truly about submission and trust in God.

I have learned more lessons about who I am.  I formulate plans in my head about how a situation should work out and then hope that God will bless my plans.  Well when I decided to go into business full time, my belief was that things would go one way.  I thought that my business would be one way but God has orchestrated me to do something different for a while.  I am working with a population that I have not worked with before and it is enjoyable even though I have a commute. 

How many times have you set up plans and they change and you realize that it was for the best?  In fasting from "self", I have learned that it is about trusting God in all things even when it is not working out the way that I expected.  Another thing has shifted, I will not be teaching both sessions this Fall as intended and I accept it as God opening up my schedule for something else.  What keeps playing in my spirit is "It is all God".

Faith Dare Day 2:Get Out of the Way

I have been blogging about the lessons that I have been learning during this season of my life.  The message that I have been hearing is "Get Out of Your Own Way".  How many times have you blamed someone or something else on the reason why you have not completed something?  For me it is many times because I get in my own way.  This clarity came to me when someone ask me when was I going to graduate. My goal is to graduate in December 2013 but if I do not it will be because I got in my own way.

I realized the other day that I was blocking myself from writing because of procrastination and self sabotage.  I go through the motions like I am writing something or doing research by reading things over and over again.  I realize that the negative self talk blocks me also.  When I set goals for myself, I get in my own way by not confronting the problem or follow through because I allow distractions to get in the way. 

Well the Faith Dare is about getting myself out of the way and allowing God's will to prevail in my life.  I am fasting myself through focusing on God and walking by faith.

So in the words of Ludacris  " MOVE GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!"

FAITH

I wanted to share with you something that I will be participating in over the next 30 days.  It is called a Faith Dare.  I participate in different women bible studies with a group called the Women Bible Study Café.  It is an online bible study group.  We are about to embark on a new adventure starting this week called the Faith Dare.  We are following a book called Faith Dare: The 30Days to Live Your Life to the Fullest by Debbie Alsdorf. 

This study could not have came at a better time.  I must confess that I have moments when my faith wavers and I work in my own self to solve the problem.  I have been listening to a booked called Life Without Limbs by Nick Vuljicic.  He is the guy that was born without arms and legs.  This book shares his story of faith and finding his purpose.  Nick shares his acronym for FAITH....Full Assurance In the Heart.  Although things may not look like the seem we must have faith in God that all things will work for our good. 

You still have time to join in the study if you would like...order the book from Amazon through Kindle and check out the Women Bible Study Café website for the different groups.

Let's take the Faith Dare together.

What is Weighing You Down?

Another lesson learned.....I was reading two post on Facebook last week.  One message was asking why is it so hard to let go of something/someone that is not good for you.  The other was about a soror that was on a plane heading home and they had to turn the plane around because it was overweight.  Then the message yesterday at church hit it home Weight Watchers (Hebrews 12:1-2).

These messages were a glaring lesson for me.  What am I holding on to that is weighing me down?  It is not those big things that trip us up, it is the small things.  Those things that are small habits like eating those chips or sweets when there is something on your mind. Those little thoughts that you ruminate on and they become worrisome thoughts.  These little things can become a way of living which is a lifestyle. 

Let's do our work....what thoughts are keeping you from moving to the next level?  What small behaviors are keeping you stuck?  Make a list of those self-defeating behaviors and/or thoughts that keep you stuck and then on the next side....what are new thoughts that you can have or new behaviors that you can change?

Have a great week.

Wow What a Message!

Last night, I was looking for something to watch on television.  Some of you know that I enjoy watching Oprah's Lifeclass but I do not watch it when it comes on television.  I tape the episodes so that I can go back and watch them and take notes. Well I did not realize when I decided to go back and catch up that God had a lesson and message for me.  I decided to watch the January 13th episode with Rick Warren.  The life class message was about winning with the hand you were given. 

Rick Warren shared 5 cards that we are dealt....

• Chemistry-our DNA
• Connections - our relationships
• Circumstances - life situations
• Consciousness - the way you talk to yourself
• Choices - "wild card" the decisions you make

His lessons were great but Nick Vujicic's demonstration of the lesson spoke to me.  If you have never heard Nick's story please Youtube him. Nick was born without limbs but is living his best life. The lesson brought tears to my eyes and conviction to my soul.  Nick climbed the stairs while telling his testimony.  The renewal of our mind and our relationship with God.

It is our choice on how we decide to live our story. 

I had to share this amazing testimony because it will make you look at your life and circumstances through different lenses.

Lessons I Am Learning

In my blogs, I try to empower others to live their truth and be authentic in all that they do.  I seek to empower others to live their best life because from my belief system, YOLO and the words of Drake lol - You Only Live Once.  In my daily life, I strive to be a student even as I walk in the shoes of teacher also. As a student, I am learning lessons that are helping in my growth as a person and some of these lessons are easy to comprehend and others it takes some time.  So I would like to share a few that I have learned over the course of the past few week.......

1. You Only Live Once(YOLO) but planning is important....This is the 100th Anniversary of Delta Sigma Theta and the celebration in DC has started. I had said a couple of years ago that I would be attending the convention but did I plan no I did not.  So I miss the opportunity to celebrate with my sorority sisters and I had a few moments of regret. I want to thank my cousins for sharing in the moments with me through their experience.  There have been some opportunities that I have taken advantage of like traveling to Europe last year and jumping out there to own my own business.

2. I am a spiritual being having a human experience.....I realize that the core of me is my spiritual being and as a human being I still am spirit.  Sometimes as I experience human situations, I have to check my spirit to see how to respond.  My spiritual life is so important to me that I have to stay focus on who I am representing as a human being.

3. I am fearfully and marvelously made....Regardless of society norms and expectations I am authentic when I am walking in me.

4. The call on my life is important.... I have always struggled with the call I have to be an influence on the education and awareness about mental health.  The realization that I was called to counseling because I believe in the wellness, prevention, early intervention, and empowerment of mental health.  In my work, I seek to help individuals worked through human development issues and life struggles. I understand that mental health and mental illness are on a continuum.  The medical model of pathology is what I struggle with.  So my call is to influence the faith based community with an awareness on how to handle mental health issues that impact the church.

5. I can not judge others through my expectations....I shared in my last post that I was chasten in my spirit that I have been judging others through my expectations of them.  Part of being human is that we experience people through our experiences....which makes it easy to judge another.  I have to remember that everyone experience life through what they have experience and I can not expect you to live up to my expectations if I do not share what I expect from another. 

Let's walk in our true and authentic self by living your best life. 

How are you seeing the situation?

Last week as I was driving to class the following thought popped in my mind - You have to stop judging people through your expectations.  Wow Holy Spirit that was a word dropped into my spirit.  This made me think about how many times I have judged a situation or person through the lens of my expectations for that person or how I would have do it.  The understanding that we all see things through our perspective and the judgments we place on others. 

This thought humbled me because I realized I was guilty as charged and I realize that it bothers me when people judge me through their expectations without getting to know me or letting me know their expectations of me.  So as another step in walking and living in my truth, I have to be intentional about not judging others through my expectations. Doing the work of living authentic and in truth can be hard and uncomfortable.  I have made the decision to be committed to living my truth and setting the expectations from the beginning and out loud.  


Walking and living in truth brings freedom. 

Living Your Truth

I should be working on my dissertation at this very moment, but I have been watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday with India.Arie.  I have been an admirer of both of these ladies because they are living their true authentic self.  The conversation held has been one that has spoken to my spirit and the essence of what I want to do.  I seek to live my true authentic self but I get caught up in the judgment of self and the perceived judgment of others.  The understanding that I am not living my authentic self when I shrink back because I am afraid of the judgments of others.  The realization is that I judge others through the lens of what I believe others are judging me. 

India.Arie share several lessons....Your real job in the world is to be you.  I love this because I believe that there are times that we are in other peoples lanes when we want what they have or strive to be who we are not.  We were created for specific plans (Jeremiah 29:11)....these are plans that God have for us and these plans will come with the expected end. 

Another lesson shared was ....telling the truth is really not in what you say but in how you show up.  Wow, when you show up in the truth of who you are then you are being true but if your actions are incongruent with who you are showing up as then you are living a lie.  Being inconsistent in what you do everyday with friends, families, and the world, you are not allowing others to live their truth because they are reacting to your untrue self.  I am working to get past the inconsistent me and live the true me.  It is not being selfish...it is about living in the true spirit of who I am. 

Live each day in your truth so that you can bless the world with who you are.

Emotional Rollercoaster

The past couple of weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions for me.  I realize that things can change in a moments notice and how they can also be seen from different perspectives.  I went on vacation a couple of weeks ago which included the celebration of my sister's 40th birthday.  Fun was had by all and the opportunity to see the islands through the eyes of others was great.  The opportunity to walk through a rainforest and see a natural waterfall was breathtaking.  I have always said that I wanted a waterfall in my house.  Nothing compares to the beauty of God's nature.

While on my trip, I received a message from a friend about a possible contract opportunity.  I knew that once I returned from vacation that I would have to really hit the ground running to develop my business contacts.  Once returning, I contacted the friend and got the appropriate information to make contact regarding the contract.  My situation turned around in a matter of 30 minutes going from submitting my information to a phone conversation with an offer to do some contract work.  What great news!!!! 

Fast forward to the next hour, I got a text from my sister stating they were calling an ambulance for my mom.  My mom was having problems breathing....she was having problem from our vacation due to the long travel, different altitude and weather, difference in treatment. This has increased my emotions from jubilation to anxiety.  Then the added stress of talebearing individuals that create drama.  This current situation has me thinking about the place of adult children becoming family caregivers and the impact of having to care for my aging parents.  I am so grateful that I have such a supportive family and that my sisters and I are a team.

I know it is the perspective from which you see things is how you handle things.  Perspective changes things so much. 

LIFE....Live It Fully Everyday

Over the weekend I attended a celebration of LIFE for a 36 year old young man that was a husband, father, brother and friend too many.  This young man has such an impact on others and he also lived life to the fullest in spite of what may have been going on in his daily life.  We can take a lesson from his life by choosing to live LIFE.

These are some lessons that I believe we can all choose to embrace to live LIFE fully.....

1. Laugh a lot...I believe that if you can find humor in the situations of life and enjoy laughter it will change your perspective on the situation. 

2. Find your purpose and passion. What is it that really makes your heart flow when you are working?  Spend time seeking out these opportunities.  I have a cousin that enjoys photography and she spends her free time taking pictures and sharing with us.  I am surprised at the sights in Nashville that she captures. Serve others with your gift.

3. Live Authentically....share with the world who you are. Stop allowing others to dictate who you are by limiting your engagement with the world.  Being authentic means tapping into the things that feel good in your heart and skin.  The opportunities to ask for what you want instead of taking what is served to you.

LIFE......Live It Fully Everyday

The Transition

Last week, I was having lunch with a friend and the conversation turned to the discussion of how we have been programmed to believe that if you do not have a place to go to Monday - Friday from 8am-5pm, you are not working.  She stated that she remembered when she was initally a consultant and God was speaking to her about just resting during that season to do as He was asking her to do.  She stated that she was feeling like she was not paying her due to society because she was not working a job eventhough she was doing projects and making money as a consultant.  This friend made the decision to go back into the grind of things and get a job.  She has now returned to the land of not working a 9-5 and finding her place of where she is really sensing God's call for her next assignment.

I could really understand where she was coming from because since I have stepped out and became a full-time business owner I have been faced with comments and my own inner dialog.  Just last weekend, I found myself in a similar quandry.  While attending a workshop, when asked what do I do for a living- I found myself struggling with staying consistent in what I am doing now.  I would find myself on one side I was a consultant and the other side I would go back into my old role of being a Program Director.  The transition has been one of ambiguity and freedom at the same time.

In our society, I believe that we have been programmed to believe that if you do not go to a brick and mortar place during normal business hours then you are not working.  Our identity has been tied to what we do on a daily basis.  So explaining to others what I do has been challenging through my tranisition.  I realized also that I have to establish a schedule for myself so that I can bring balance to my life.  Scheduling time to exercise, time dedicated to working as a consultant, time dedicated to working on my dissertation.

I would like to share with you my logo.

Neither One of Us.......

This topic has been percolating in my spirit for a while.  I have came across this particular theme in my own life and in the life of others and it always remind me of the classic by Gladys Knight- Neither One of Us Want to Be the First to Say Goodbye.  In the song, Ms. Knight is singing about the ending of a relationship that you know has come to an end but neither person wants to leave the relationship.  It could mean a physical relationship or a metaphor of a relationship.

I wonder, why do we hang on to what we know is no longer functional in our life?  At one time it served a purpose but now it has become an albatross around our neck.  The amount of misery that it is causing us is really choking the life out of us. We don't want to make the change that needs to be made because we are comfortable with what is uncomfortable.  I know that it is easier to say that I want to leave or want to stop this than it is to actually take action.  The" what if" is always there to greet you. As Gladys says..those memories always gets in the way.

My question is What if I let this toxic relationship go....this toxic behavior go...then who will I be?  I reflects back to living in the authentic being that you are and the willingness to get to that place of living in the authentic.

May is.....

The old adage is April showers brings May flowers.  As a person working in the mental health profession, we can say April-Counseling Awareness Month bring May-Mental Health Awareness Month. 

Mental Health is a topic that is rarely discussed from a preventive and positive perspective.  Who wants to talk about the maladies of the mind or from a place when someone says you are crazy.  Mental health has become a topic of stigma.  What can we do to open up the discussion?  Thinking about mental health from the perspective of being without disease.  How can we manage those situations that create mental illness.  Mental illness can be birthed out of those untaken care of mental health symptoms. For example, continuous stress uncared for can lead to a mental illness. 

Mental Health Awareness could be seen as a preventative health measure.  As a woman, I have preventative exams that I participate in on a annual basis such as a well woman's exam including my mammogram (ok TMI).  These exams help me to keep up with my health.  Another way to look at it is going to the dentist every 6 months for my dental check-ups.  So can we have mental health check up/check-ins to see where we are emotionally?

Take Care of your Mental Health by checking in with someone who will listen.  

New Beginnings

Today is the beginning of a new season in my life.  I have such a peace and excitement about the unlimited possibilities of being an independent consultant.  When I write my post I fully take into consideration what my heart is speaking for me to share with you.  I must confess that the peace that I am experiencing is a little anxiety provoking.  Today as I went through the activities of my day, I can only describe it as this is "right" for me at this time.

Driving along and listening to Jim Rohn, he asked the question of why be part of you when you can be ALL of you? This question really resonated with my spirit. Why do we shrink back and not tap into the ALL of who we are and not allow the world experience our full potential?  I have found that our limiting beliefs about who we are or the measures that we have set for ourselves based on another person's expectation or what they say. 

I had a revelation this weekend while participating in a Prayer Journal Workshop.  The workshop was to help us to use creative means in prayer.  In the past, I have not ever thought that I was creative because I subscribe creativity to music, art, singing, photography, etc.  I have never described myself as being creative.  The revelation to me was since we are created in the image of God and He placed His spirit in us- this would mean that we are creative beings.  He created the world into being by speaking..which means creativity can be in what we can speak, write, or through other means.

Allow the world to experience ALL of you by being ALL of you.

Blessings and Peace,

Lacrecia

Successor Planning

We are at the end of April which means that I am coming to the end of my season at Family & Children's Service.  It has been seven years since I began working as a counselor to turn over the reins of the Counseling and Community Based Services to my successor-I have such a peace. I have been able to see the strategic planning of God all over this transition into independent business owner. 

The true understanding of Jeremiah 1:5- "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.... God has plan my succession.  He does this alot of times and we do not understand just how strategic He is in His planning. I have always questioned why did I major in Business and then later get a Master's Degree in Counseling.  While having lunch with my #1 sand, she spoke the words that your were marketing yourself when you got your Bachelor's degree in Marketing for such a time as this.  You were majoring in Business to make money but it was much bigger than that. When I began working on my Master's it was for the purpose of serving the faith based community.  I have felt the call to provide training services around mental health education to ministry leaders and volunteers. The trajectory of my career over the past 7 years has been one of God's strategic planning.

Initally, I was calling the person who would take over my position as my replacement, but God reminded me that this person would not replace me.  The thought hit me that this person would be my successor.  We have had the opportunity to work together this week and it has been like meeting a old friend.  She said, " I feel like I have come back home." It is time for her to move into position because God has strategically planned this handoff.


 

What are you saying?

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend some quality time with two colleagues will dining in Italy. Ok, not in Italy but in an Italian restaurant. We have a monthly meeting of the minds in a destination of our choosing. The reason I say opportunity is because the time was filled with introspection and spiritual connection. Well the time spent yesterday was so confirming and affirming. Dr. J.  shared her experience while attending a training and spending time with dear friends. She posed the question, do you believe we can create our life with what we speak? This question took me to the Word spoken on Sunday- Seize What You Say'

The conversation transitioned to how we can rewrite our story by how we speak it. As a counselor, part of the work I do with a client is to get the client to tell their story and then help them to re-construct their story outside of who they are.

Our tongue allows us to speak life or death into our being Proverbs 18:21. The realization that the adage- sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. This is not so! What we speak to self or others can change the person. Choose to speak life and create your destiny. Speak life to those around you and watch how they change.

Psalm 45:1- My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.

Joy Replaces Fear

This week, I was feeling some anxiety because of the choice that I have made about launching out into the deep and going full-time into business owner.  I was questioning why I was not as excited as others about my new adventure.  The realization hit me that I was beginning to fear the unknown and was not experiencing the joy of expectation. 

Well as God usually does, He reminds me that He has me in this by showing me revelation through His Word and in practical matters. I have been reading God Sized Dreams by Heather Gerth and in my reading it said fear is part of the process.  Wow!  When I needed that nugget of encouragement it was just on time.  Then during bible study, God reminded me that the process is part of getting to my destiny and that I am an EAGLE.  Eagles fly into the eye of the storm to build their strength in their wings so that they can soar.

I replaced my fear with the joy of expecting the unexpected and the excitement of what my future holds of moving into business ownership.  The coming true of my dreams.  I remember that when I started my Master's program that my purpose for going through the program and getting licensed was to own my own business.  The dream of this is where I am walking but the God size dream is much larger than I expected and then waiting for what He has purposed for me.

Are you being called into your God sized dream?  The one that is beyond who you are but a part of who you are as God calls you into destiny.

Walk into your destiny!!!!!!

Searching For the Me That I Am

In the constant journey of self-improvement, the question is posed when will we be at our true self. Some would argue never because we are always evolving. I beg to differ because my belief is that the essence of the true you was deposited inside of you before your entrance on earth.  So we are searching for the "me" before all of the stories were written about who you are suppose to be in this world.  Before we adopted certain beliefs, values and roles. Our stories have helped us to survive in this ever changing world but our true "me" is searching.   Circumstances and events have mirrored your perspective of who you are, but are these perspectives true of who you really are.  Yes, they happened but did they take value from your true self-worth.

The realization that we all seek love and we seek it differently is paramount to how we receive love and how we see who we are.  We are asking someone to love our true self even when we have put up our world invented self. The essence of who we are is calling out for you to return back to that place of authenticity. This awakening and searching shows up in different ways from seeking balance in your everyday life or being frustrated because the relationships are not aligning like they should or just one day waking up and say I want more. 

Center yourself and begin to listen to what your authentic self is saying.

Walking in Your Gift

A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. - Proverbs 18:16

 

 

 

How many times have you admired someone that is really talented or as we say in the church - anointed?  Sometimes you may even say, I wish I could sing like Beyonce or speak like Maya Angelou.  Each of these individuals have tapped into their gifting. Everyone has gifts and talents that reside inside of them.  Some of them are readily noticed when you practice your craft and then there are others that reside right under the surface and show up when you are working in your flow.  You may say, what is my gift?  A gift is defined as a special ability or capacity; natural endowment; talent.

 

 

So many times we do not get the opportunity to walk in our gifts because we do not know exactly what our gift(s) are due to the fact that they do not pop right out and wow the world.  As you think about what it is that you really enjoy doing without any fuss or strain but you just flow in it that is your gift. If you hide your gift from the world then we will miss out of what you have to offer.  Or if you covet anothers gift and think that your gift is not all that because you don't sing like someone or believe that your gift is not important, we are missing out on it.

 

This past week, I had the opportunity to work in my gifting and it was energy filling. I had the opportunity to  co-facilitated a workshop with one of my favorite colleagues Dr. Joshua Stanley.  We presented to a group of clinical supervisors.  I have heard the statistics that anywhere from 75-80% of people have the fear of speaking in public.  One of my gifts is exhortation and it comes with the enjoyment of being able to speak in public through encouraging others.  So this means that I fall in the 25% that actually enjoy speaking in public. 

 

 Raise your hand if you remember standing in front of the crowd and having to saying an Easter or Christmas speech.  I remember as a child having to participate and then also participating in  oratorical competitions....it was always so much fun to me.  God blessed me with this gift so I can not continue to hide behind it.

 

I would like to assist you in discovering your gift(s) or help you to walk in your gift(s) by uncovering opportunities to experience your flow. 

 

 

I would like to help you to discover your gift(s) or assist you in walking in your gift(s) by creating opportunities for you to flow.  

Grow Your Wings

First you leap and then you grow wings. - William Sloane Coffin

 

 

This week a colleague shared with me this quote as we were talking about life and how once you make a decision you never know what the outcome will be.  It reminded me of the biblical story of when Peter asked the Lord to bid Him to come and Peter got out of the boat and begin to walk on water towards Jesus.  Peter leaped out of the boat and then he grew his wings to walk on water.

 

 

How many times have you found yourself in a situation where you leaped and it felt like you were free falling until you began to flap your wings and realized that you could fly to higher heights?  It is scary at first but then the feeling of exhilaration and freedom overtakes you and you begin to soar like an eagle.  The realization that we are called to be much more than we believe we are is the place that we find ourselves so many times and have to make the decision of will I leap or will I stay on the edge.  The edge of comfort/uncomfort, the edge of potential/safe, etc.

 

 

I am currently listening to "The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: Live Them and Reach Your Potential" by John Maxwell.  In a part of the book, Maxwell talks about when he began his career as a leadership teacher that he was never prepared to go to the next level until he just did it.  He used the story of talking about when he was meeting with 34 leaders and asked anyone who wanted to start receiving a monthly leadership tape to sign up on this legal path.  He said everyone in the group signed up and that was when it started.  He shared other examples of when he started something new, he just did it.  So I would say Maxwell leaped and then grew his wings.

 

This can serve as an example to us all that when we leap....we will grow our wings.

 

 



Leap of Faith

Since starting this blog, I have wanted to encourage others to live out their God given calling or dream especially in the realm of career and vocation. Well if I am completely honest, I was living in the shadow of do what I say do not as I do. I could blame it on fear or uncertainty, but I realized it was more about my belief about me. I have shared with you about getting out of the boat and walking on water and other similar things.

On March 5th, I got out of my boat of safety which for me is my job with good pay, great responsibility, influence and title. I submitted my letter of resignation to grab on to my God sized dream and calling. The realization of what God can do through me is much more than I can do. This is truly a faith walk for me and being obedient to the call is developing my faith. The opportunities available are limitless and being able to experience God is most important.

I have such a sense of peace and freedom but don't get me wrong....it is scary. Since I was younger, I have always wanted to own my own business. At the time I did not know what the word Entreprenuer meant, I know now that I have always had the spirit of business ownership. I remember selling shoes and gift cards from catalogs as my first job as a teenager. My grandfather was my first customer, he would order shoes out of my Stuart McGuire catalog. Or I would sell greeting cards and it was really not about the prize, it was the sense of ownership.

The call to work with others and help them to discover their vocation "calling" has been at the root of it. I was talking to someone this week, I realized that when I transitioned into the profession of counseling from the business arena, it was not about working for an agency, it was about being able to own a practice. The desire to own a private practice has been changed to a more global view of owning a business that will help other live their best life through Learning...Empowerment...Authenticity...Development. The global aspect incorporates different arms that are not bogged down into one area.

The calling even rest in the topic of my dissertation on Leader Development and Professional Identity Development. I would question God about why did He call me into counseling but the majority of my positions have been in leadership and supervision. My blend of experience in the business and counseling professions have set me up for the next season of my profession.

So it is official......L. Dangerfield Consulting is open for business.

Become an Expert

Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. - Jim Rohn

I have been working to integrate some different principles into my daily life such as reading for 30 minutes a day something instructional and also turning my car into a mobile classroom. Did you know that if you spend this time learning, you can become an expert in your given field in 3-5 years.   As I was driving into work this morning, I was listening to Jim Rohn and he shared the following principle - "Work harder on yourself than you do on your job."

Personal developoment is key to growth as an individual. What can you do to improve where you are in the next month?  Are there areas in your life that you want to increase your knowledge about? Find a book on the topic and spend time reading 30 minutes a day.  I suggest that you read 15 minutes in the morning and follow up with 15 minutes before bed.  Or find a CD or podcast on the subject and listen on your commute  to and from work. 

I want to become more knowledgable about leadership and human potential so I spend time reading different books on leadership and listen to CD on human potential.  My challenge to you is increase your knowledge to get ahead of the person in the cubicle or car next to you.

Getting Heart Healthy

Yesterday, I attended a brunch and the room with women dressed in red.  The information shared was to bring awareness.  2013 is the 10th year of the Go Red for Women Movement.  The Go Red for Women movement raises women's awareness of heart disease. The information shared was very enlightening so I want to share some of the pearls of wisdom that I learned with you so that I can raise your awareness.

Did you know heart disease strikes more women than men and that the symptoms are different.  They showed a video of a lady that thought she was having a hot flash and later thought she had food poisoning but it turned out she was having a heart attack.  Heart disease claims the lives of one in three women.  It is so important that we know our risk and our numbers.

The speaker shared a way to minimize our risk:

Healthy Diet - eat fruits, vegetables, lean meats and whole grains.  We should also remove the salt shaker from the table.

Exercise - Do brisk exercise 30 minutes most days.

Avoid tobacco- stopping smoking will give you back life.

Rest and relaxation - as women we take care of others but we must make sure that we take care of self by taking time to quiet our mind and relax.

Teamwork - we have to work with each others and make others aware.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. - Proverbs 4:23

As I continue to walk in my word for the year...Freedom, I was challenged by someone to talk to someone close to me about my decision to be a Career Consultant and Leader Development Coach.  Initially I was a little nervous because I did not know what the person would say or would they think that I was losing it.  So I shared my decision with my mom and she had some questions - why are you going to school to get a doctorate in counseling?  Are you going to wait until after you graduate?  Are you not working in your purpose?  These questions made me think but it also solidified my decision to be free. 

The answers to the questions are: 1) My dissertation will give me the knowledge and freedom to be a Leader Development Coach because I am researching Leader Development and Professional Identity 2) No, I have launched L. Dangerfield Consulting and 3) My purpose is continuing to be revealed.

I stepped closer to freedom by attending a luncheon for women business owners and guess what the panel was 3 coaches that shared their highs and lows about being in the business.  I had to introduce myself and share my business...it was such freedom seeing others smile back and affirm me.

My work as a career consultant is to work with others and help them find meaningful work or meaning in the work that they currently do. As a leader development coach, I work with individuals or groups seeking to enhance their leader skills. As you continue to seek who you be, you will find who you be----vocationally.

Experiencing God

At the beginning of this year, I decided to participate in an online bible study of Experiencing God.  I participated in a bible study of the same book over 15 years ago.  The study is about experiencing a real and practical relationship with God and joining Him where he is working.  I truly believe that God has brought me back to this study so that I can reconnect and revitalize my relationship with Him in a new season.

There are several tenets discussed in the book on how our interaction with God moves us into the will of God.  The will of God has alot to do with the how our purpose is lived out here on Earth.  I remember after the first study was when I began to seek God about where He was calling me to join Him in my professional life and also in my spiritual life.  There was a shift from attending the church that I grew up in to where I am currently.  He also spoke to me about going back to school after I submitted to His will. My transition from the business arena to the counseling profession was orchestrated by God.  He did not lay the plan out 1..2...3.  He spoke and I moved.

It started out with taking a course at Nashville Tech in Adjustment Psychology and being asked to complete my 5 year goals.  A young man in class said that he was going to Trevecca to get his Masters in Counseling.  It was like...that is where I am calling you.  Now mind you I could not stand Psychology when I was in my undergraduate program.  I followed each step through the process of applying and taking the appropriate test.  I could see God's hand through this process.  In February 2003, during my time at the bank they announced that my department was moving to Jacksonville, FL.  I graduated in May 2003 and stayed at the bank until January 2004.

When I left the bank, I was able to complete my additional hours for licensure and my internship.  God provided for me during this time.  I received my first job offer in September 2004 as a counselor.  God has continued to direct my path and favored me with promotion.

I am currently in a season of wanting to experiencing God and seeking His will and direction on where He is calling me now.  God has reminded me that the same faith that got me where I am is the same faith that will take me into the next season.  When I started the study this time, I was not really thinking about the last transition until God spoke to me on Friday and then He confirmed it with His Word. He is transitioning me to the next level in this season.

The call on my life is to empower others to live their best life in the area of professional endeavors.  So I want to offer complimentary coaching sessions to help you to live your best life if you are stuck in a place and feel God calling you to the next level.

Freedom....Freedom....Freedom

Freedom is a gift from God but it must be secured by the people here today. - President Barack Obama - 2nd Inagural Speech 2013

Today is a historic day and a day of rememberance of those who fought and fight to maintain our freedom.  We honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and watch the coverage of the second inagural ceremony of President Barack Obama.  We also celebrate this year, the 150th anniversary of the Emmancipation Proclaimation and the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington and 100 years of the greatest sorority...Delta Sigma Theta, Inc. I am so grateful for being alive at such a time as this.

Initally, I thought my word for the year was going to be PURPOSE but as I continue in prayer seeking God's will He has made it plain that my focus word is FREEDOM.  Freedom is derived from the root word of Free.  Webster defines Free and Freedom as "not under the control or power of another; having liberty; independent. (2) to move in any direction (3) to release from bondage or arbitrary power, obligation, etc. (4) a right or priviledge."  Freedom is a mindset and it comes with a cost.  The call to be authentic in who I be and not what I do is part of the cost of freedom. 

The quest for what your purpose is and what you are passionate is rooted in the desire to be free. We desire to be who were created to be.  Freedom will allow you to align yourself with your values, heart's desire, purpose, etc.  One of the first things we must do is get our mindset right because the greatest battle is in your mind.  Those thoughts, scripts and beliefs that keep us locked in prison cost us the price of our freedom.

Yesterday, we had a guest psalmist that sung a song called Freedom by Eddie James.  The lyrics of the song included "No more shackles, No more chains, No more bondage, I am FREE.  This will become my song of praise and encourage.  I want each of my readers to walk in freedom and be who they are called to be.

Failure Is Not An Option

On one of the groups that I follow on Facebook, the question was posed, "What is one thing you would do if you knew you would not fail?"  There were over 1,000 responses and the top three answers were follow my purpose, start a business and lose weight.  It is interesting that these are part of the areas of improvement that I am seeking.

My response was to turn in my resignation and start my coaching and leadership academy.  So I began to think about why the fear of failure keeps us stuck in a place of uncomfortability.  The fear of failure or the unknown stifles us from reaching our greatest potential and causes the world to miss out on what we have to bring to the world.

Who is to say that we would fail anyway?  Successful individuals may have not made it on the first try but they continue to press forward and we end up seeing their success.  I made the decision not to  allow the fear of failure to keep me stuck, I will begin working on getting my coaching and leadership academy up and going so that I can release my current position to the next person to carry the torch. 

How many times does a toddler stumble and fall before they are up and walking?  If we did not get up and try again, we would all be sitting and waiting for someone to carry us or we would be crawling on our hands and knees.  Failure is not an option is you plan to be successful. 

So What is the One thing you would do if you knew you would not fail?  Make a committment to yourself to take the first step and if you stumble take another step.  You will soon be walking in your purpose, desire and destiny.

Reality Has Set In

We are on the 6th day of the new year and reality has set in.  I experienced disappointment yesterday as I stepped on the scale at my Weight Watchers meeting.  The scale showed that I was up 2 pounds even though I had tracked my points to the most part and did some activity.  Initially, I was frustrated because and experienced a moment of negative self talk that included it is not worth it, you are too old to be trying to lose weight and you are going backwards.  Then reality set in and I asked myself a couple of questions, has it really been a week- no just a couple of days of serious committment and are you a failure - no because you have 51 more weeks until the end of the year.

Initially, I joined Weight Watchers with my aunt just to go with her on her journey and she had lost 15 pounds.  I was not really committed to the program but was just showing up because I wanted her to be a success.  As I was sitting in the meeting on yesterday, I met a 58 year old lady that has lost over 100 pounds and has maintained her loss for almost a year.  She told me it is all about your mind set...so get your mind right.  Instead of leaving the meeting and doing the usual, I ate my oatmeal, got in 30 minutes of exercise and made better choices most of the day.

I have also made the decision to track everything good or bad and committ to getting in my exercise.  I realized that going to the Y is not my favorite thing but I enjoy doing Walk Away The Pounds DVD's at home and I am going to add a line dance class.  I have also challenged myself to pack my lunch and eat it at work instead of going out to lunch all the time.  It is these microactions that will get me closer to my goal.

What are your goals and what microaction(s) can you take this week to get you closer to your goal?

New Day New Year 2013

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As we embrace a new day along with a new year, I want to first say that my prayer for you is that 2013 is your best year yet.

Alot of people take this time to think about goals that they would like to accomplish in the new year because it is like having a new beginning.  We can wipe the old slate clear and begin again.  Well, as I was purging some things at the end of 2012, I decided to get rid of my old journals ( a need because I have hoarder tendencies).  I was flipping through a few and realized that each year, I had been living a similar life.  I felt like Bill Murray in Groundhogs Day.  In this movie, Phil (Bill Murray) is a weatherman that found himself living the same day over and over again.  This can describe life sometimes because we get caught up in the day to day routine and the years pass by. 

So as I purged these journals and had a conversation with God....it was spoken into my spirit that to have a different life, I must make a change.  Which means that I have to do some things differently.  If I want to defend my dissertation by October 2013, I have to set aside time to read, write and research on a daily basis.  If I want to be healthy and stop the threat of diabetes, I have to make better choices in what I eat and be committed to more activity. How many times have you heard that the definition of insantity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"?  This rings true in so many situations.  So what are you going to do differently this day and this year?

I was listening to Brian Tracey discuss goal setting and he stated that most people will select one goal in each of the following areas: health, relationship and finance.  Are these categories that your goals for the year fit in? 

Let's break the year into quarters....so what can you do for the next 90 days to either accomplish your goal or get your closer to the accomplishment of the goal? I would love to hear from you.

May this be our best year yet!!!!!!